doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
