Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter

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(404): View more from Georgia

He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.

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(815): View more from Illinois

Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests

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(720): View more from Colorado

He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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(815): View more from Illinois

She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.

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(406): View more from Montana

We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in

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