I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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