I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize