ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
