Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
