Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
