at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
