So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
