I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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