you're like a bully in the Christmas story
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
