you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
