addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Your dad touched me again.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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