I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
