There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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