I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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