Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
