it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
