ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Houston, we have a squirter
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
