I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
