Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
