In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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