No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
