Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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