I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
