I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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