carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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