Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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