Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
