My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Randomize
