I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
