We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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