Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize