what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
