You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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