The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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