chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
