Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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