half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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