seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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