this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
