Even the bartender felt bad for me
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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