Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize