problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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