Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
