Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
i think i just lost a toe
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