i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
