so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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