just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
