He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
