Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
