Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
