Soap is not a condiment
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
