There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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