Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
