I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
