is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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