I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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