I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
