oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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