Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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