bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
