he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
