I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
