i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Shame - the story of my life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
