I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
A bitchslap is in order.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize